I've just met again with Dr. Sanguan, and he says that he thinks he can get me five inches of depth with my scrotal tissue, which means that even a second-stage colon graft is less advisable. This time, I agreed. Part of me feels like I've accepted a lesser solution, but at the same time I remember everything that he said could go wrong with a colon graft, even though those were one-stage surgical complications.

Am I giving up on my goal? Am I accepting a more sensible surgical result? Jessie and I have talked about it, and zie pointed out that Dr. Sanguan probably wouldn't be advising against the colon graft procedure if it were positively indicated by my medical conditions. The fact that I have as much scrotal tissue as I do means that there's no medical "need" for the colon graft to extend depth, and the desirable effects of the colon graft are for
the most part outweighed by the invasiveness of the surgery to get it.

Also, there's the fact that I've got at least one more surgery while I'm here, the scrotal skin graft into the cavity that's been carved out of my abdomen and packed. I've had a tube in the packing to drain out any bleeding, and I've been cathetered to keep me from needing to go to the bathroom since I left the OR on Friday afternoon. I've got no interest in extending my stay or putting myself into any more undue pain.

I think, of everything that's happened here, the worst honestly has been trying to find something on the menu that I can eat and enjoy. Jessie's the true neophile in the family, and even zie's had trouble keeping up with the spices, heat and flavorings in the food. I finally discovered the generic chicken fried rice, and the roo tried the chicken with baby corn, which I found I liked quite a bit. Everything else I've had has either failed to satisfy or tasted unpleasant.

The nurses will change my packing on Monday, and Thursday I'll have the second-stage skin graft. I have no idea how long I'll be here after that, but I've scheduled for five weeks if I need it. I hope I won't at this rate, but if that's what it takes, I'll do it.