This is something that has been ruminating for a while, and I'm still not entirely sure where it's going if anywhere, but it's a thought process that I at least felt was worth sharing in my therapy group, so I suppose I should share it here as well.
Every year for Christmas, my grandmother gives me fifty dollars. She has as long as I can remember. It used to be twenty or ten or five but she's always given me something; never once has she failed to have an envelope waiting for me come the twenty-fifth of December. Not once in my entire life have I written a thank-you note in response.
I never used to think about it. Either I was too busy or it wasn't important to me or I said I would do it and then ever got around to it, but whatever the justification, I simply never did it. Before, this never mattered to me; obviously if it had I would have done something about it. Now, though, I'm a different person from whom I used to be, and I wanted to show that to her.
The reason that any of this is relevant is that, about two weeks ago, my father asked me what my plans were for Thanksgiving and Christmas because he wanted to arrange to go down and visit my grandmother over whichever
holiday I would be out of pocket.
My father has not told her that I'm transsexual.
Normally, this wouldn't be an issue at all. I don't have any sort of regular contact with her. She isn't someone that's part of my life. Yet, she still gives me money every year, and for once in my life I wanted to turn things around and thank her for all the gifts she'd given me. I can't simply not sign the note, but I'm not going to put the old name just for her benefit or my father's. This means either I have to explain in that thank-you note
that she now has a granddaughter, or else she has to be told beforehand, by someone.
I'm sending my parents an email, offering to come with them down to visit my grandmother and talk with her about things if they think that would be a better idea than simply telling her in the note. I have no idea how they
I can only hope it's a positive response. Everything so far has been. I don't want to break that trend now.