Sunday was much better. I called my sister and told her everything that had happened, and she listened and told me I did the right thing, which I didn't need to hear but enjoyed anyway. I'm worried about her, a lot, but until she graduates in three months I can't do anything for her. I'm going to see her in June, and I'm so excited about that I could pop! Jason and I had to do laundry, and at first I got up and dressed in my new blouse and my old ankle-length skirt, the most casual femme outfit I have, and then Jason came in and asked me why I'd dressed up to do laundry. I laughed, but he had a point, and I needed to wash the blouse anyway. I changed into some drabs and we took care of business, but the whole time I felt a bit off. I didn't want to have changed, but so far everything I own that's obviously feminine is "nice," the sort of thing that you just wouldn't wear to a laundromat unless it was Turtle Creek.
When we got home, the first thing I did was change back into what I'd worn that morning. Afterwards, I made arrangements with my parents to drop by their apartment on the way to a movie so that I could pick up some paperwork that I had left there by mistake. After I got off the phone, it occured to me that I was planning on showing my parents Kristina for the first time, without warning. I decided to take that chance, and we went. They didn't say a word. Well, not exactly. My mother wanted to know where I got my purse and how much it cost me, and she laughed when I told her what a deal I'd gotten on it. Then she wanted to know what size skirt I wore and she got flustered when I said I'm a 16 because apparently I'm now smaller in the waist than she is. My father just looked at me when Jason and I got ready to leave, and he said, "You've got a hard row to hoe in front of you, but we're here." My parents are incredible people, and I wish I'd been wise enough when I was younger to know that.
The movie itself was fun. Jason was a bit on edge as we got in line, walking past a group of teens who were muttering but not loudly enough for us to hear what. He really is a sweetheart, but he's learning right alongside me not to be afraid of everyone else just because I'm out being myself. One rather creative individual did shout something like, "What the fuck?", but we ignored it and went about our business. We were going to see the Tigger Movie because I've been a Pooh fan for years, but we changed our mind and ended up at The Whole Nine Yards, which turned out to be well worth it. I thought the movie was hilariously surreal, but maybe it's just that I was enjoying being out as who I want to be so much that everything else became fun in comparison.
The work week is a chore. I've now been in my cube for eleven weeks, doing nothing. I've got a charge number, but nothing to charge to it. The Monday after is always something of a letdown: I'm back to pretending I'm still the same-ol'-same-ol'. I need to make an appointment some time soon with Human Resources to talk with them about their policies regarding transition in the workplace; it'll make a lot of difference between whether or not I stay for the long haul or look for another job despite the problems. I'd rather go through this in a place I know will accept what I'm doing. Somehow I don't think this is it.
I have my first electrolysis appointment this Saturday. Actually, it's a consultation to determine if laser hair removal will work for me. It's more expensive, but much less painful and much faster, so I'm willing to bear the cost if it will give me the results I want. I know my therapist advised electrolysis, but I know I'm allergic to lidocaine which means most local anaesthetics are out, and that needle hurts quite a bit. We'll see how the appointment goes. I'm really looking forward to this. It's my first "real" step. Everything through to now has been talk and image. This is an actual permanent change. I can feel it coming together.