The jet lag is taking its toll, but I want to put this down somewhere before I forget to do so. Anji asked me to keep a detailed account of the experience, and I've agreed.

The flight from Heathrow to Bangkok was uneventful, though nine hours in any plane is enough to drive me crazy. There was no power adapter for the computer, so after working for an hour on some commissions, I got the warning light telling me that the battery was low. It was fully charged when we left Chloe's, but it doesn't last long.

I'm worried about her, honestly. Seeing her again was wonderful, and going to Brigg to visit her mother's house felt a bit like coming home, but I know she doesn't get much contact with other people, certainly not people with whom she can really be herself. I wish I could spend more time around her, and I know I'll be seeing her again in a few weeks, but after that I have no idea when next I'll have the chance to visit the siscoonie, and that's upsetting, even now. Leaving yesterday evening—twelve hours ago, give or take—was painful. I almost started crying twice in the airport as we entered the secure area.

Bangkok's a sauna compared to our normal environment, and Phuket, being an island, feels even worse. When we got to our room at the hospital, it was raining, but not normal rain. The air holds so much water during the day
that, when the temperature starts to drop after sundown, less moisture can be held in the atmosphere and the excess condenses out and falls to the ground. I remember seeing this effect in Singapore, but that was only two days. This will be five weeks.

One of the other patients in Kunaporn's wing came over to our room as soon as we were situated and semi-insisted on taking us around to meet everyone else in our wing, the others here for the same procedure or related surgeries. I mentioned my desire to have the one-stage colon graft because of the quality of the result, and Kimberly, our guide, began trying to dissuade me from it. I was rather annoyed, and a little unnerved. I got to meet someone else that had had it done, and she's now on her fourth day in bed, cathetered to within an inch of her life and still in pain from the operation. I tell myself I'm a tough chick, that I've had my gallbladder, two cysts and an ingrown toenail removed, but I'm still a bit spooked.

I'll have to consult with Dr. Kunaporn tomorrow about surgical options specifically. Apparently he doesn't like doing the one-step colon graft unless the patient insists or he can see no other way of doing the surgery. I intend on insisting, even granting the increased recovery time and the risk of infection. I'm here for the results, and I'm willing to do what it takes to have the body I want. I can't help but feel that, were I to go back with a less-than-ideal result, I'd end up resenting and regretting the whole trip, instead of planning on coming back for a repeat visit to have my depth extended. Plus, the idea of the procedure I want is to get me away from relying on artificial lubricants; skin grafts from the thighs and tummy won't give me that.

I know what I want. Now I just have to get the surgeon to give it to me, and then deal with the consequences of my decision. I just hope I'm healed enough to go home by the departure date.

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